


Same Soul

by SinpaiCasanova



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Character Death In Dream, College, Demon Deals, Demons, Dreamwalking, Forbidden Love, M/M, Past, Past Lives, Past Torture, Reincarnation, Repressed Memories, Sirens, Soul Bond, Soul-Searching, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 02:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14203035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinpaiCasanova/pseuds/SinpaiCasanova
Summary: I think we've lived a thousand lives, I try to find you everytime. Searching for the same wide eyes that locked me in, in my first life.





	1. Chapter 1

There's a belief that once a person dies, a part of them becomes reborn in a different body. Their soul remains the same, memories of their last life sometimes bleeding over into this one. I've never put much stock in that belief, finding it to be too farfetched to be true. But recently my dreams have been haunting me. Flashes of war and death imprinted in my mind, sometimes so clear it feels as if I was actually there. Only one detail has remained the same though, the ghost of a man that comes to me almost every night. I can hear his voice but I can't ever see his face, my mind blurring him to the point where I can't even make out a single distinguishing feature. I'm not sure why this man invades my dreams every night, why his touch sends shivers up my spine. It terrifies me, thinking that I may have lived and died a thousand times over, forgetting him each time I'm reborn. Who is this man that so desperatly wants my attention? What did he mean to me, if anything?   
I sigh, trying not to think about him during my waking hours. It's a little harder than I hoped it would be though, his very presence infecting me as I sit in front of my computer. I'm a college student, majoring in bio engineering. So my time should be spent with my nose stuffed in a book as I try to dig my way out of my overflowing work pile. But here I am, sitting at my desk with a blank look on my face as I twist my brain around this ridiculous concept. My actions don't go unnoticed though, much to my misfortune. My roommate is staring at me, his blue eyes filled with concern as he bites his lip.  
"Mark, you alright?" His heavily accented voice rings in my ears, forcing me to look at him. He's laying on his bed, headphones pulled down to hang around his neck. I've always been a little attracted to him, even though he's never showed a single speck of interest in me. He's dressed comfortably, wearing one of his oversized shirts and a pair of pajamas pants, brown hair a spikey mess that makes me smile slightly.  
"I'm fine, just swamped in assignments as usual." I chuckle, hoping he'll drop it and let me get back to work. Jack can be a little nosey at times and this is just something I'd rather keep to myself. There's no doubt that he's seen me spacing out more frequently, heard me talking to this man in my sleep. Some of these conversations are intimate, talking about things that even I don't fully understand. Jack frowns as he sits up on the bed, pulling off his headphones as he stood and walked over to me. He's not going to let this go, and I can just imagine his reaction in my mind.   
"Mark, I know it's more than that. You can talk to me, ya know. I may not be as smart as you are but I'm a great listener."   
His eyes are burning into mine, relaying a sense of calm. It reminds me of the ocean in a way, eroding away at me until all of my secrets are bare and open for him to see.  
"I know but I'm fine, Jack. I think you're looking deeper than you need to. You don't need to worry about me, I promise."  
Jack sighs and rolls his eyes at me, frustrated that I'm not spilling my heart out to him like everyone else does. He's a psychology major, skilled at reading people better than a FBI profiler. How we ended up in the same dorm paired up as roommates  was actually a mistake that no one caught. He was supposed to be with some guy he's been friends with since high school, but the computer glitched and I ended up here instead. I'm not complaining though, I enjoy rooming with Jack.   
"I can't just not worry about you, you're my friend. I've noticed that you've been stuck inside that head of yours quite a bit, something is bothering you. I'm betting it has to deal with whomever you're dreaming about all the time. Love interest, maybe?" He quirks an eyebrow, smirking at the look of shock that melted across my face. Why does he have to be so damn intuitive? It's kind of annoying actually.  
"No. It's not a love interest." I say, mocking his Irish accent.  
"I don't know what it is, but it's happening more frequently. I used to see him every so often, now it's every night."  
"Him?" Jack questions, his tone suggestive. I never actually told him I was gay, it just never came up. I nodded, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. I figured Jack would probably tease me or possibly want to distance himself after that, but he didn't do either of those things. He reacted quite normally, continuing the conversation as if I hadn't just subtly came out to him.  
"I can hear him but my mind hasn't been able to make out his face. It feels like I've known him my entire life, even going so far as to suggest that we were closer than just friends."  
Jack nodded, remaining silent as I talked about him. I could practically see the gears turning inside his head, analyzing every inflection in my voice, each expression my face made. Even now I can feel this ghost next to me, peering over my shoulder as he listened.  
"Sounds like past memories to me, like reincarnation." Jack casually said, peeking at the computer monitor to see that I've been thinking about it too.   
"Do you really think so? I mean it sounds like something out of a novel. Kind of stupid, don't you think?"  
"Not at all. And you wouldn't be researching the topic if you weren't at least considering the possibility."  
I pursed my lips, clicking out of the wiki page as if that would make me seem less interested in this scenario. I didn't want to think about him any longer, it was already affecting my school work and my social life. It's just a dream, nothing more.  
"Try not to worry so much about It, alright? If you're really meant to find this person again, you will."  
I wanted to overanalyze that statement, pick it clean until there was nothing left but bare bones. But my mind was exhausted and so was my body. I closed up my text books and shut down my computer for the night, cringing when the clock revealed that it was well past one in the morning. Class was going to be hell tomorrow if I didn't at least try to sleep.   
"Thanks Jack, I'm probably just making something out of nothing." I smile, standing up from my chair and heading to my bed.  
Jack nods as he layed back on his bed, placing his headphones over his ears as he closed his eyes. I didn't really show It, but I was anxious to see him again. My eyes shut as soon as my head hit the pillow, sleep wrapping around me like a thick blanket. I could already hear his voice, drawing a smile on my face as I slipped into my subconscious.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Before I even knew I was sleep I was standing in the doorway of a house that felt familiar. The decor was very dated and covered in a thick layer of dust. The paint was peeling off of the walls in thick sheets, wallpaper cracking to reveal the old wood that formed this house. From the looks of it, it hadn't been touched in decades. I took a hesitant step forward, the wood creaking and groaning under my feet as I entered the dilapidated home. The strong scent of musk and mold circled around my head, making it a little difficult to breathe. This was vastly different than my previous dreams, mostly consisting of meeting him on the beach during the night. Why was I in this death trap? I glanced around the living room, finding old picture frames that were made of silver. The photos themselves were hard to make out, but I could see the outline of two males sitting next to each other on the sofa that was behind me. I swiped my thumb across the glass, removing a thick blanket of dust from the surface. My heart lurched at the sight, chestnut orbs focusing on the man that bared a strong resemblance to myself. He appeared to be holding someone's hand, dressed in attire that dated around the early 1900s. His partner's face was blurred, but I could see that he had jet black hair and his build was similar to my own. My breath hitched, glancing around at the little ceramic figurines that decorated this space. I was standing in this couple's home, looking at their belongings that they once treasured. I knew the explanation my brain was trying to come to, but I didn't want to accept it. This was my home..our home. Just as the thought crossed my mind, I heard footsteps approaching me from behind. I slowly turned, eyes widening to find the very same man that's been haunting me. The man from the photo.  
"Fancy seeing you here again." He chuckled, taking a seat on the couch that was torn and covered in cobwebs and dust. My heart was pounding, voice caught in my throat as my eyes met his. Trouble was, that was all I could see. Everything else about his face was far too blurred to see clearly. His irises matched the same shade of chestnut that mine held, calming me when I should have been scared shitless.  
"Is this- were we-?" I stammered, trying to ask the right questions. He nodded, seeming to understand my garbled gibberish. He wore the same classy suit that he was wearing in the photo, black with white pinstripes. Just seeing him like this was triggering strong emotions that I didn't understand.  
"Why can't I see your face? Who are you really?" The man sighed, crossing his legs as he leaned back against the couch. I was surprised that it was able to hold his weight. It appeared to be hanging on by a thread, ready to snap at a moment's notice. He didn't seem to notice or care, in fact, the longer he sat there the more vibrant and new it started to look.  
"You don't remember this, do you?" I shook my head, glancing back down to see that the photo had changed. I was able to see his eyes now, his striking orbs smoldering with unheard emotion.  
"I'm the same man that's loved you a thousand times over. Each new existence I look for you, always finding you in the oddest locations. Your soul is a tricky one to track, but I found you again. Just like I always have."   
I couldn't see it, but I could hear the smile in his voice. It made my heart skip a beat, knowing that he was my soul mate and not some spirit sent to torment me.  
"Then why can't I see you?"  
"You don't want to, but I'm a patient man. It took me eighty-nine years to find you again, I figured I could wait a few more until you were ready to accept the truth. It's not the first time I've done it."  
He's been looking for almost a century? That can't be right, it's 2017 for fucks sake. I'm only twenty-four, what exactly have I been missing?  
"That doesn't make any sense.."  
"To you it doesn't, because you've forgotten about me and our life together. I had to say goodbye to you in 1928, where you died from a shootout between the police and some nameless criminal. You were caught in the crossfire, I watched you die. Didn't know it would take seventy years for you to find a new vessel. Then again you always were a drifter."  
None of this made sense. I died? I wasn't ready to hear this, I couldn't accept these lies. But if he was right and I did die, how many other times have we had to say goodbye to each other? I could feel myself panicking, the dream beginning to collapse around me as the environment became more unstable. He didn't move from the couch, unfazed by the falling plaster and trembling floors. I dropped the picture frame, hearing it shatter against the hardwood floor. My head was spinning, chest heaving as parts of the floor caved in. He stood up, hands clasping mine as he leaned in close to my ear.  
"I'm closer than you think, but I can wait a little longer for you."  
My eyes shut tightly, trying to will myself to wake up. I could feel his breath against my lips, the soft touch of his fingers running up my arms. It was too much, sending my fragile mind into a whirlwind of emotion. Even though I couldn't see his lips, I could feel them as he gently kissed me. It almost felt like static, like pure electricity was flowing through the kiss, making the hairs on my arms stand up. He pulled away, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.  
"Listen to Jack, he knows more than you think he does."  
His words sucked the air from my lungs, eyes snapping open just in time to see the house collapse around us. The next thing I knew, I was awake and sitting up in my bed. The sheets were damp with sweat, my hair a complete mess as I gasped for air. Jack was staring at me with wide eyes, sitting on the edge of my bed with his hands resting on my shoulders. What exactly was he not telling me?

 


	3. Chapter 3

I locked eyes with Jack, his beautiful baby blues masked by the darkened room. He seemed to be worried, visibly shaken just as much as I was. Did I say something odd in my sleep again?  
"Mark, you're really starting to freak me out."  
I raised an eyebrow at him, confused as to why he was saying that to me. There's no way he was able to hear what that man told me, I don't even remember speaking all that much. Jack slid his hands off of my shoulders, his fingers lightly brushing against my skin.  
"Did I say something?"  
He shook his head, knitting his brows together.  
"You weren't breathing for at least a minute, Mark. What the hell were you dreaming about?"  
My hand wrapped around his, the cool temperature of his skin sending a shiver through my spine. Most dreams are forgotten once I wake up, the details blurred and jumbled until nothing is left of it. But these are different. They feel like memories, like bits of my past that my subconscious is trying to bring forth. The house was a startling revelation, knowing that I was supposedly alive in 1928. The things he said, the accusations that were layed at my feet. It was too much for me to handle in that moment. But things are starting to make a bit more sense. Like why my mother always called me an old soul, or why I've never been able to "click" with anyone on a romantic level. This man is my soul mate, bound to me for all of eternity. Then there was the strange statement that Jack made earlier in the night, about how if I'm meant to find them again that I would no matter what. Jack didn't seem like the type to believe in that shit, he was an atheist and a bit of a skeptic when it came to love. Why would he say that?  
"I saw him again.." I murmered, eyes downcast to stare at our interwoven hands.  
Jack hummed, lightly squeezing my hand  to show that he was being supportive.   
"Did he hurt you?"   
"No. He kissed me." I whispered, lips still tingling from such an electrifying encounter. Jack's expression was unreadable, his grip around my hand loosening. Even now I could feel his lips pressed against mine, the hairs on my arms standing up as I shivered.   
"Sounds like things are getting pretty serious." He joked, chuckling as he pulled his hand away. Jack stood up and walked back towards his bed, sliding under the covers with a long sigh. He almost sounded jealous, but I was probably just imagining that.   
"Jack, I-"  
He wouldn't even let me finish, turning onto his side as he scooted closer to the wall.  
"It's late, go back to sleep Mark."   
His voice was a bit cold and bitter, implying that he was upset about something. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to just drop it or try and comfort him for whatever reason he was upset. I'm terrible with these types of things, especially reading someone's subtle emotional hints. I fall flat on my face every time. I rolled my eyes and sank back down into my bundle of blankets, curling into my side as I shut my eyes. My alarm would be going off in a few short hours, but I wasn't exactly eager to go back to sleep after the dream I just had. My brain was still mulling over his words, stripping them bare to try and find the hidden meaning behind them. Jack was supposed to know something about this, at least it was implied that Jack knew more than he lead on. I had my doubts, knowing full and well that he was as scientific as it comes with his beliefs. He didn't support anything that he couldn't find proof of, including reincarnation. But what he said earlier just didn't make sense. It was like he was hinting at something.  
I stared at my digital clock with tired eyes, fighting sleep like Freddy Krueger was waiting for me. It's stupid and a little childish, knowing they were just dreams and that this man didn't want to hurt me. But I was still terrified. Eventually I passed back out, waking a few hours later to the annoying sound of my alarm. Jack was already awake, stepping out of our shared bathroom with a towel hanging around his waist. I've seen him like this at least a hundred times, but I still ended up blushing in embarrassment as I sat up and pulled the covers off of me. To my surprise I didn't see him again, I don't even remember dreaming. I should have been happy about it, finally getting a dreamless sleep. But I was conflicted, part of me craving that contact from him.    
I pushed myself out of bed, grabbing my towel on my way towards the bathroom. Jack hasn't said anything to me since last night, even going so far as to avoid eye contact. I sighed, closing the bathroom door as I started my morning routine. I could hear Jack talking on the phone, sounding a little better than before as I quickly showered. He was discussing plans for this weekend, talking to someone that I assumed was a good friend of his. I never did catch a name though, feeling a little guilty for eeves dropping like that. I stepped out of the shower, brushing my teeth and fixing my hair. I never put much effort into grooming, not like it would matter much if I did. I had no one to impress. I opened the bathroom door, stepping out into the living space we shared to find that Jack was gone. I had hoped to discuss whatever happened last night, just wanting to figure out what I had done wrong. I don't remember saying anything that would make him act so cold, but perhaps it's something different. Something I just can't see.   
As soon as I was dressed and ready to go, I grabbed my phone and left the dorm. Jack was standing in the hallway, casually talking with some guy I had never seen before. He had his back to me, but from what I could see he had gauges, a few tattoos, and jet black hair. His build was similar to mine with skin as pale as Jack's.  
But it was his voice that intrigued me the most. Almost like I had heard it somewhere before.


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as the door shut, Jack's eyes locked with mine. He didn't look very happy to see me, in fact he tried to avert his gaze almost as quickly as I had it. I figured that I must have done something to warrant this type of treatment, although for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. I kept retracing everything that happened between us last night, but the only thing that stood out was how odd he began acting after I told him about that kiss. Jack wasn't jealous, was he?   
I shrugged off the absurd thought as I locked up our shared dorm and stuffed the key into my pocket. The stranger that Jack was talking to had his back to me, so all I could really see were his gauges and a few of the tattoos that covered his right arm. Some of them were music related images, drawing the conclusion that he must be a musician of some type. He had a lovely speaking voice, not too deep yet smooth and light. I'd imagine he'd have an even better voice when he sang. But speaking of his voice, I know I've heard it somewhere. His melodic musings wrapped around my head, bringing me back to the countless dreams that featured it. I wasn't even sure if this man was real, or perhaps he really was my soulmate that's been trying to reach out to me. The idea seems so far fetched though. I wanted to see his face, maybe talk to him a little just to see for myself. I started walking towards them, my face as neutral as I could possibly make it. I didn't want to seem overly excited to meet him or cause any additional problems with Jack. I'd only sneak a peek at him, nothing more. Jack tensed up as I approached, trying not to appear bothered by my presence. Maybe I should say something?  
"Morning." I murmered, eyes glancing over to the stranger that was now looking at me.   
"Good morning." He spoke, cutting off any reply that Jack had originally thought of. I couldn't help but stop, turning to see his face a little better. And I was glad that I did. He was absolutely stunning. His features were soft yet masculine, skin as pale as snow with eyes as gentle as a mother's love. His hair was styled a bit like mine, waves of black silk combed out of his gorgeous face so you could see his perfectly arched brows. This man was beautiful, and I was immediately taken by him. He must have caught me staring though, mouth slightly upturned in a mischievous smirk.  
"You must be Mark, right? The guy that stole my roomie from me." He teased, nudging Jack out of his sour attitude. I didn't even notice he was staring at me, giving me this look like I was intruding on something.  
"Oh, yeah. I'm him, sorry about that by the way. It was a glitch they never caught." I rubbed the back of my neck, smiling a little at his expression. My heart seemed to beat so much faster while I was talking to him, even if the tension between Jack and I dampened the mood.  
"Oh, where are my manners? Mark, this is Nate. Nate, this is the roommate I've been telling you about." Jack muttered, his tone seeming to lighten a bit. You could tell that it was forced though, Jack was a little more transparent than he'd like to admit. I stuck out my hand, waiting for Nate to shake it, but he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me in a hug that I could only describe as warm. His arms felt like home, snuggled under a thick blanket while snow covered the ground outside. It was the strangest feeling, but even though it was just a friendly greeting between new acquaintances, I wanted more. Nate pulled away, leaving me reeling from the sudden intimacy. I was starting to believe my theory now, buying into the belief that I was supposed to meet him. It just felt right.  
"Sorry, man. I'm a hugger. Hope that didn't weird you out or anything. I meant nothing by it." Nate smiled, nervously chuckling as he bit his lip. Part of me was disappointed that he didn't think anything of it, but then again we just met.  
"No, no. I don't mind, I'm a bit of a softy myself."   
I was well aware that Jack looked extremely uncomfortable, but I didn't want to leave him just yet. I couldn't understand why I was so attracted to him, besides his outward appearance. There was something on the inside, more beautiful than diamonds and pearls. He just had this alluring personality, making me want to be next to him.  
"Anyways, we've gotta be going. Don't you have class, Mark?" Jack said a little bitterly. I glanced down at my watch, eyes growing wide once I realized that I only had five minutes to make it to my class.  
"Shit, I'm gonna be tardy. It was nice meeting you, Nate." I rushed out, turning on my heel and rushing down the hallway.  
I didn't say anything to Jack, didn't stay long enough to hear Nate's reply. But I wish that I had. Jack knew something that he wasn't telling me, and there was more to Nate than meets the eye. Those eyes, that voice. He was the man from my dreams, the one that kept haunting me. And if that's true, then I just found my soulmate.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The day drug on painfully slow, the clock moving just as sluggishly as i was. My lack of sleep the night before was really starting to catch up to me, effecting my performance in class pretty seriously. It was like I couldn't focus on anything for more than a few moments at a time, the only exception being Nate of course. His infectious smile permeated my thoughts, taking over my mind like a disease. I couldn't stop thinking about him, wondering why I haven't seen or heard of him before now. Jack has only vaguely mentioned him, and that was only when we first started rooming together. It just seemed odd that he would appear supportive of these dreams until he heard that Nate kissed me. Maybe it's not me that he jealous over.  
The walk to my dorm was long and exhausting, my aching bones loudly pleading for sleep. I wanted to rest, but I also had a shit ton of work to do once I got back. I was still behind the eightball, one failing grade away from losing my scholarship. If that wasn't enough to put me in a foul mood, Jack's sour attitude would be. I didn't want to deal with his bullshit any longer, and if he was still acting childish when I saw him then I was going to have to say something about it.   
Almost immediately after I entered our shared living area, I noticed that Jack wasn't alone. Nate was laying back on his bed, headphones on while he typed away on his laptop. Jack was doing the same, much like he normally did when he was studying. My heart skipped a beat once I saw him, but the fact that he was laying so close to Jack made my stomach twist. Jack didn't pay me any attention until Nate pulled out one of his ear buds and sat up.  
"Hey, man. I hope this is alright." He gestured to him and Jack, quietly doing homework on his bed. I didn't mind that part, but I also didn't like him being so close to someone else. Wait, what am I saying? I barely know this guy. He could be taken already or completely disinterested in men. I'm getting way ahead of myself, becoming jealous over something stupid like a study buddy. Jack knew him way before I did, so I shouldn't be feeling this _possessive_ over someone I didn't even know. But still..

"No, not at all. Make yourself at home."  
I smiled, setting my keys in the bowl by the door before flopping down on my bed. I could feel his dark eyes on me, making my cheeks heat up. Why am I suddenly so nervous?  
Nate set his laptop down, pulling out his other ear bud and placing it down on the bed. You could still faintly hear the music he was listening to, although I couldn't place a name to who was singing. He sounded wonderful, almost like Brendon Urie but different. I only closed my eyes for a second, but hearing that person sing made what I assumed was a memory flash before my eyes. I could smell the thick scent of smoke, feel the tar in my lungs as I took a long drag from my cigarette. I was sitting at a small round table, a glass of whiskey placed in front of me. It must have been a lounge, because I could hear someone singing on stage along with the quiet chatter of the bar's patrons over the swing music that played. My suit was black with red accents, my hair slicked back with a hat covering most of it. But what really had my attention was the lovely soul behind the mic. Nate was singing a slow ballad, hitting every note just right. He wore the same suit that he had in my previous dream; black with white pinstripes. He was so gorgeous, lulling me into a state of complete relaxation as I watched him perform. But the memory faded as soon as I felt a hand on my arm, my eyes snapping open to see Nate staring down at me.  
"You alright? You seem stressed." He smiled sincerely at me, making my heart flutter as I sat up. I wonder if he knew anything about these dreams, or if I really was just losing my mind.  
"I'm fine, just didn't sleep well last night."  
I saw something flicker in his eyes, his smile falling from his plump lips.  
"Oh? Nightmares?"   
"Not quite, I'm not really sure how I would explain it."   
He shifted a little closer to me, making himself comfortable as he rested his chin in his palm.  
"Maybe I could help. I happen to dabble a bit in dream interpretation." He smirked, a hint of mischief behind his gaze.  
"Well, I'm not sure, but I think they might be memories of some kind. I always see the same person, but their face was too blurred to make out. I think this person might have been someone important to me, but I've forgotten them."   
He was quiet for moment, scooting a little closer, his hand so close to mine.  
"Sounds like you're on the right track. Maybe this person just misses you."   
"What do you mean?" I asked, playing along with his little game. He was playing dumb, acting like he didn't know who I was talking about.  
"Well you've been dreaming about the same person for what, a few weeks now? It sounds like they're desperate to try and reach you. You can't be whole when half of you is missing."   
There was a silent understanding between us, acknowledging that he knew the intimate details of these dreams that I've been having. For the first time in a while I felt complete, just being in his presence made me feel alive. But the moment was over when Jack spoke up, breaking the spell I was under.  
"Nate, could you come help me with this? I've tried everything but can't seem to get the outcome I want."   
Nate pulled back, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"Yeah, of course."   
And just like that I was left alone on my bed, watching my soulmate cozy up to someone else.


	6. Chapter 6

I couldnt comprehend this aching inside my chest, this deep incomprehensible sadness that overtook me. Nate had left our dorm a few hours ago, leaving me alone with nothing but the knowledge that I was missing him and couldn't do anything to stop it. Nate was still just an acquaintance, but I wanted him to be something more. Even though my body was tired, my mind wouldn't let me sleep. All I could think about was being with him, a silly thought for someone like me. I've never had this type of reaction to someone before, most of my previous relationships ending in failure and heartache for the other person. I just couldn't commit to someone else, wouldn't let myself get too attached when I knew that I'd be gone as quickly as I came. Nate was different. If I could just spend some time with him, maybe I could understand things better. Jack was already asleep, ear buds in and his music drowning out any sound that might wake him. It was the perfect opportunity for me to slip out for a little walk to clear my head. I didn't need Jack questioning where I was going this late at night. It also helped that it was Friday night and I wouldn't have class again until Monday. Plenty of time to find Nate again. I sat up, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my keys from the bowl before swiftly leaving. My thoughts were suffocating me worse than my emotions were.  
As soon as I made it out into the crisp night air, my mind cleared enough to notice that I was alone. I wasn't that far from campus, but the streets and sidewalks were surprisingly scarce of other students. The feeling only grew to be more intense as I came across the park that was across from the university. To my surprise, the very same man that has been filling my thoughts all day was sitting on one of the park's benches. He had a composition notebook in his hand, pen quickly scribbling what looked like a poem or maybe song lyrics down onto the page. He glanced up, surprised to see me, I suppose. His face broke out into a breathtaking smile, making his dimples that much more noticeable. I never thought I'd find dimples this adorable, yet here I am, internally sighing from such a sight. I've really got it bad for this beautiful stranger, don't I?  
"Hey, Mark. What are you doing out so late?" He asked, setting his notebook down on the bench as I approached. I wasn't sure if I should sit with him or not, too afraid to take that risk yet. But I had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't have minded my company at all.  
"Couldn't sleep, just needed to take a walk to clear my head." I answered truthfully, leaving out that little part about him being the reason I was so restless. He frowned, scooting over and patting the space next to him. I hesitantly accepted his offer, noticing that there wasn't much space between us. His thigh was pressed against mine, his warm breath billowing in front of him. I began to see flashes of passion behind my lids, two bodies intertwined in a lover's embrace. I could feel his lips on mine, his nails in my skin, feel the heat of his body melded with my own as we made love. It all felt so real, but these flashes of memory only last a few moments. Soon I was thrown right back into the cold night air, a blank expression on my face as he called out my name.  
"Mark? What's wrong?" He bit his lip, staring at me with concern as I turned my head to face him.  
"N-nothing. Just remembered something." I muttered, unable to forget what I just saw. We looked so in love, perfectly in sync with the other as we moved. I've never been like that with anyone, certainly not in such a passionate act.   
"You've been having a lot of those moments, haven't you?"   
"Yes. It's all so confusing and a little frightening. I don't know who I am anymore." I confessed without thinking, the words just tumbling out of my mouth as if I could trust Nate with things like this. He nodded, his hand inching so close to mine that I could feel his body heat radiating off of him.  
"It'll get easier once it starts happening more frequently. It's a bit terrifying, but soon it'll all make sense."  
I wanted to ask him about my dreams, why it's taken so long for him to try and reach me, but I still wasn't sure what to think about all of this. It was almost too much to process.  
"Nate, I feel like you're trying to tell me something, but right now it all just sounds like white noise. We've met before, haven't we?"   
He nodded, placing his hand over mine. His warmth sent a shiver through my body, wrapping around my heart in a tight grip.  
"We've met many times before, which time are you referring to?"  
"All of them." I whispered, feeling myself lean a little closer.  
"That's quite a long story, Mark. I'm not sure you really want to hear it."  
"I need to, please just tell me who you are." I felt myself tear up, my emotions getting the best of me before I could control them. This was odd to say the least, but I know he's not what he appears to be. I can feel it in my bones, hear it when he speaks. This isn't our second time meeting, and from the sound of it, it won't be the last.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The cold night air wrapped around my body, but I strangely didn't mind. I was too focused on Nate to really notice how much the temperature had dropped. We were so close to each other, his hand resting on top of mine. Just a simple touch from him was enough to set my soul on fire.  
"Please, just tell me who you really are."   
Nate pursed his lips, his fingers lacing with mine.  
"You really don't remember me, do you?"  
His eyes appeared saddened, frowning as I shook my head. I knew there was more to our relationship, I could feel it.  
I wanted to remember everything about our life together, what we used to be before my untimely death. I was also curious as to what role Jack had to play in all of this. To go from sweet and supportive to cold and bitter in a heartbeat is a little unnerving. I haven't known Jack that long, maybe a few months since we started living together, but I still considered him to be one of my close friends. It hurt to see him act this way towards me, to actively try to keep Nate and I apart. What was I missing?  
"I've recovered a few short memories of us, from a time long forgotten. I don't remember anything about you, but I want to."   
"I'd love to be able to tell you everything, but the shock would overload your system. I don't want to see you lose yourself again, I can't bare to see you like that."  
What does he mean, again? How many times has this happened before?  
"What can you tell me?"   
"Just that there's more to us than you think. This life, what you believe is your first, is actually one of many. I on the other hand, have been alive since the fifteenth century."  
My jaw dropped, eyes growing wide as I sat back. That can't be possible, my mind couldn't accept it. That would mean that Nate was over 600 years old, when he didn't look a day over 20. I felt my chest tighten as tears spilled from my eyes, my hands were shaking despite his tight grip around my palm.  
"W-what? That's not true, that's impossible!" My voice broke, catching in my throat as I tried to wrap my mind around what he just said.  
"It's the truth, Mark. I'll let you figure the rest out for yourself, but what I said to you in your dream, about Jack, you might have misunderstood me."  
"You said that he knew more than he lead on, to listen to him." I murmered, recalling the previous nights dream. I didn't understand it, it still don't. But it's obvious that Jack knew Nate before he knew me. He only began acting strange after I told him what Nate did to me. I assumed it was jealously, over Nate or myself, but now I'm not so sure.  
"Jack isn't what he appears to be. He's actually a lot older than I am. He's the reason I can't die, the reason for all of this. Be careful around him."   
My senses were becoming overwhelmed, the information becoming too much for me to take. This wasn't real, it couldn't be. I was just having a break from reality, caving under the stress of college life. It's perfectly plausible for me to begin hallucinating, seeing and hearing shit that isn't there. That's what's happening to me, right? I'm just losing my mind, that's all. But that couldn't explain the way I felt around Nate, how warm his hand was as it held mine. Tears were freely falling from my reddened eyes. Nate put his arm around me, pulling me into his embrace. I can't explain how good it felt to have him hold me, to feel his breath on my neck, his hands in my hair. Despite the things he's told me, I trusted him.  
"It's ok, baby. I'm right here, I've got you. You have no idea how much I've missed you." His voice was so soft, whispering in my ear as his lips brushed against my neck. To hear him call me such a name sent a wave of goosebumps across my skin. His body felt so good against mine like this, so warm and welcoming. It helped to calm my nerves a bit, just focusing on how tightly he was holding me. My breathing slowed down, my heart drumming a little softer as his scent filled my senses. I might not have known him very long in this life, but my soul missed him so much. His hands were gently threading through my hair, comforting me in the best way. I pulled back just enough for our eyes to meet, the tips of our noses brushing against the others. I've never wanted to kiss someone as badly as I wanted Nate right now. I leaned in, my breath hitching as his hands moved to cup my cheeks. I was completely helpless, trapped under the spell that his dark eyes were casting. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as I closed my eyes. The next thing I felt was the soft velvet of his lips brushing against mine, his hot breath mixing with my own as he closed the gap between us. That electrifying static that I felt before shot through my system, leaving my lips tingling as they slid against his. The taste of his tongue was sweet, a bit like dark chocolate and citrus. It was the most addicting flavor I've ever tasted, leaving me craving for more. But the kiss ended as he pulled away, tears of his own streaming down his flushed cheeks.   
"I wish this wasn't just a dream, I miss you so damn much, baby."   
I was confused at first, until I noticed the environment had changed. Instead of a park, we were surrounded by thick trees that blocked out the night sky. It felt familiar, like this location was extremely important to us.  
"Please don't go, don't leave me." I whispered against his lips, feeling myself begin to regain consciousness. His image was fading, along with the forest we were surrounded by. I didn't want to wake up, I couldn't lose him again. But I didn't have a choice. My eyes opened, engulfed by the darkness of my dorm. I felt empty inside, my chest tightening as I fought back tears of sorrow. I thought that was real, I was sure of it. But by heart stopped for a moment as my teary eyes locked with Jack's, his blue irises glowing a little in the dull light, watching me as I slept.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nate's POV

The darkness of my room did little to comfort me as I layed against the mattress. I felt empty, but that's to be expected when half of my soul is missing. I sighed as I rolled onto my side, staring blankly at the thick darkness that filled my dorm room. My roommate was across the way, sleeping soundly while I silently shattered into pieces. Hunter wasn't aware of any of this, still under the impression that I was just a normal college kid. He didn't know about Jack or Mark, the deal I made or the curse that followed in it's wake. I wish I could be like that, blissfully ignorant of the world around me. I've seen so much over the past few centuries, watched my lover die in some of the most horrific ways imaginable. I'll never be able to forget the first time I had to watch him leave this earth. I can still feel the heat against my face, hear his cries as he was tied to the pyer. It's a story that only Jack and I know the details of.  
Mark wasn't brought into this world as a screaming babe. He was made.  
The details of the ritual are still a bit blurry to me, some of them obscured by the pain I endured. I had left the safety of my village to seek out a powerful entity, one that I thought could heal my heart from the loneliness I felt. I wanted to belong to someone, to have a soulmate.  
But siren's like me don't have a preordained mate like the common folk do. I should have known better than to make a deal with a demon, but in that moment I wasn't thinking clearly.  
Lividus lived outside my village, hidden in the forest that surrounded it. I can still remember how cold it was, how the thick trees blocked out the sun and wrapped it in stale darkness. Lividus is an entity of envy. A spiteful creature that used my weakness to curse me. Even now I can hear his distorted voice inside my head, playing out the events like a film I wish I could forget.  
The forest was exceptionally cold that night, chilling me to the bone as I left my home to search for him. I had heard the rumors about a sorcerer that lived out there, but I wasn't prepared for what he actually was. By the time I had reached the center of the forest, Lividus was already waiting for me. How he knew I would be out there is still a mystery to me, but I was just so focused on the way my heart hurt that it didn't faze me.  
His face was masked by the hood of his cloak, but I could see the green of his hair that hung down over his glowing eyes.  
" _You're_ _a long way from home, little siren._ _What's_ _a pretty song bird like you doing out here in the cold?"_ He mused, circling me like a vulture. His cold hands brushed the back of my neck, carding through my hair as he looked me over. I should have just left, turned around and ran back to safety. But if I had done that, I never would have met Mark.  
" _I've come to seek your_ _guidance.-"_ I tried to say, but was silenced by his laughter. I felt a cold shiver run up my spine, his laugh filled with malice.  
" _I know why_ _you're_ _here, boy."_ He purred, pulling back his hood so that I could see his face. His features weren't actually that different from how he looks now, except for the horns that extended from the top of his skull. His tongue was also a bit like a snakes, thin and forked as it slid past his pale lips. That should have been the first sign that I was in way over my head, dealing with a being that was so much stronger than I was.  
" _Can you give me what_ _I_ _want? A soulmate to spend my days with.."_  
He grinned, his clawed hand gripping my chin tightly.  
" _Of course, little dove. But_ _these_ _desires of yours have a price_ _that_ _must be payed. You will feel unimaginable pain, suffer like no man has before. Are you willing to accept that?"_  
At first I assumed he was referring to physical pain. In a way I was right, but I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. I blindly agreed to his terms, wincing as his smile grew wider.  
He bent down, scooping up a handful of dirt before motioning for me to open my mouth. I thought he was going to fill my mouth with soil, but it was so much worse than that. My lips parted, eyes growing wide as he closed the gap between us. It wasn't a kiss, not even close. He began to suck, pulling my soul out of my mouth hard enough to rip it in half. The pain was unlike anything I've ever felt before, worse than being burned alive. Lividus pulled away from me, letting my body crumble to the ground in a heap as he cupped his hands around the soil and blew half of my shredded soul into it. The blinding light that erupted from his hands took what little breath I had away, forcing me to avert my eyes. The next thing I knew, a gorgeous man was lying naked on the ground, curled up in a ball as he slept. The demon crouched behind him, softly petting his hair as he looked at me.  
_"He was born from dust, and to dust he shall return._ _Over_ _and over until_ _I_ _call_ _him_ _home."_


	9. Chapter 9

Tears filled my eyes as I shakily moved my legs to the side of the bed, covering my face with my hands as I tried to hold on to the moment Mark and I had together. It's been so long since I've kissed his lips, held him in my arms like I've wanted to. The last kiss I remember sharing with him was after he was shot, lying on the pavement in the middle of the road while he bled out. It wasn't the most heart wrenching death of his that I've had to witness, but it still left an impact on me that I can still feel today. I remember tasting the blood on his lips, that awful metallic flavor that coated my tongue as I kissed him for the last time. His lungs were punctured and full of blood, the bullet just missing his heart by half an inch. But back then the doctors couldn't have saved him, so I took his breath away with one last kiss and watched him die once again.

I've lost count of how many times I've kissed him goodbye, watching his eyes glaze over as his heart stopped. The first time was by far the hardest. I had to watch my soulmate burn alive on a stake because the villagers thought he was a witch or some sort of demon. Mark was ripped from my arms while we slept, dragged from our home and tied to a stake. Lividus was there, holding me back with an iron grip as the villagers banished Mark's 'evil spirit' back to hell. But all they did was kill a part of me that night. That was the first of many deaths that seemed to accompany our relationship throughout the centuries, fulfilling the curse that Lividus placed on us when he brought Mark into this world.

I've come to accept it, seeing the silver lining that came with each departure. I would always see him again, it was just a matter of waiting until his soul came back to earth to be reborn. Sometimes it would take a few years, other times it would be almost a century before I saw him again. Just like this time. But I would always be reunited with him. The only thing that's different about this rebirth is the fact that Lividus is back. He's stayed away all this time, working behind the scenes to cause each heartache that separated us. I was shocked and a bit afraid to suddenly see him again, stalking around the campus like he was watching someone. Turns out he was watching Mark, changing little things here and there that forced them to become closer to each other. I was confused at first, since Mark wasn't supposed to room with anyone. A sudden glitch changed that though and I was forced to stay away for a while longer.

I wasn't sure why he's been keeping us apart, until I remembered the last part of the curse.  
**_Until_** ** _I_** _ **call him home..**_  
A sickening giggle forced me back into the room where I was sitting, my mind suddenly focused on the corner of the darkened room. A loud ringing filled my ears, almost like the static you'd hear from an old television. A black figure stepped out from the shadows, smiling widely as he stood next to Hunter's bed. I knew the moment I saw those glowing blue eyes what was standing before me. Lividus.

"Why so sad, little siren?" He tsked, giving me a fake pout. I felt sick to my stomach, but I was also terrified. This demon was only here for one reason, to take Mark from me. My heart began to pound, filling my ears with the loud drumming of my pulse as I shakily stood.  
"Please, I just need more time. Just one more life time with him. Please, don't take him from me!" I begged, tears falling from my eyes and burning my cheeks. Sirens are very beautiful creatures so even our tears have an effect on our appearance. I could feel my skin sizzling as the indigo pigment stained my skin. The demon chuckled, taking a step forward and roughly taking my jaw in his clawed hand.  
"No. Your time is up. I've given you more than enough time with him, it's time for him to return to the dust from whence he came." His voice was calm, but held a disturbing level of amusement. Each layer of his voice held a different emotion, ranging from anger to joy, malice to amusement. His entire form radiated a nasty energy from it, burning my skin the longer he held onto me.

"You can't! H-he's mine!" I snapped, receiving a rather unsettling look from Lividus. His hand released my jaw, whipping to the side to strike me across my cheek. The blow was powerful enough to send me to the ground, the demon crouching down to hover over top of me.  
"You're wrong! _**I**_ created him, _**I**_ control him!" He growled, grabbing my face and pulling it close to his own.  
"His body belongs to me, and I intend to take what is mine. You've had your chance, you selfish child! It's time to say goodbye."   
His voice rang in my ears, filling me a hopelessness I've never felt before. He was going to take my soulmate back to hell with him, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  
"I bet his tears taste just as sweet as yours do." He purred in my ear, extending his forked tongue and licking up the side of my face, tasting my tears. I cringed, trying to pull away from him as he held me down against the floor.  
"I'll be sure to come and find you when I'm done with him. I want you to see just how fragile he really is."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark's POV

The way Jack was staring at me, that look in his icy blue eyes made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I didn't want to be near him right now, especially after what Nate had just said in our dream. It seems like the dream world is the only place where we can be together, but even that leaves us both wanting and empty after we wake. Nate was trying to warn me about something before the dream collapsed and we were forced to part once again. And the way his eyes glistened with fear upon saying Jack's name is only proving my suspicions.

I shifted on the bed, trying to ignore Jack's icy stare on me. I was beginning to feel increasingly uneasy, like I was anticipating him to hurt me in some way. But that's ridiculous, isn't it? Jack has never tried to hurt me before, so why am I feeling so defensive and exposed under his gaze. It was frightening and unsettling to say the least, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of here and find Nate so I could get some answers. I stood up, quickly grabbing my jeans and a hoodie as I attempted to slink off to the bathroom to change my clothes. I felt far too exposed in what I was wearing, which was just a thin shirt and some boxers. But the moment I stood up and tried to walk away my body froze to the spot on the floor.

I attempted to move, frantically willing my limbs to get me to safety but it was as if I was made of stone. My body felt heavy and weak, like I would collapse at any second and fall into darkness. But something was holding me up, and the blood curdling laughter I heard coming from behind me only made my paralysis worse.  
"Where are you going, Mark? Off to see your little siren again? How foolish you both are, thinking that I would allow such a thing." The person I assumed to be Jack spoke, his voice an eerie mess of distortion and malice. The fear that I was experiencing was enough to stop my heart dead in my chest, but yet I remained standing, frozen like a statue made of marble. Jack stood up, facing me in the darkness of our room. My eyes could see a slight change in his appearance and it was apparent that I wasn't dealing with the same person I had been living with all this time.

I had the distinct feeling that he wanted to harm me, like loud alarms going off inside my head that told me he was something very dangerous. My lips and eyes could still move, leaving me able to hold a conversation with the person that I assumed wanted to kill me for some reason.  
"S-siren?" Was the only word I could choke out though, my tongue unwilling to work with my brain to convey what I was actually feeling or thinking. Jack smiled, but I didn't like it when he smiled. It was creepy and unnerving, like something out of a horror movie.  
"Oh, right. You still don't remember. I keep forgetting how fragile your little mind actually is. Each rebirth wipes your slate clean, only for him to dirty it up again with painful memories of years past." He cackled, the blue of his eyes seeming to glow brighter as he closed the gap between us.

"You're not human, are you?" I whimpered, wanting to create some distance from him as quickly as possible. His gaze was violating me, penetrating deep into my soul with that hauntingly blue fire of his eyes.  
"No. It seems that my efforts to remain discreet were unnecessary after all, so I see no point in keeping up pretenses." Jack grinned, and in the blink of an eye I was standing before something completely different that what I saw Jack to be. He was taller and leaner, with sharp teeth and claws and horns atop his head. His body was surrounded by a menacing blue glow, and even his eyes appeared to be consumed by a bright blue fire. This thing was radiating pure demonic energy, making me want to reel back and flee. 

At this point I couldn't even speak, too racked with fear to make my lips move. And this entity could sense it, moving in close to press his nose to my exposed neck. It breathed in deeply, exhaling shakily in a way that disturbed me to no end.  
"You reek of fear. Sweet, sweet terror." It sighed, eyes rolling back a little. My skin was crawling, cold sweat beading on my forehead as it poked it's forked tongue out to lick across my throat. I whimpered, tears beginning to fall like rain.  
"I've been waiting a long time to do this, and I'm not sure why I let him have your exquisite body for so long. You belong to me, and I think that it's time you remembered that." It hissed into my ear, nipping at my lobe and drawing blood from how sharp it's teeth were. It raised up its hand, finger hovering over my forehead.

"So, once again, see and dream of fire."  
It pressed it's finger against my skin, causing an excruciating heat to envelope my body. My eyes squeezed shut in agony, voice breaking as I sobbed. So many images were flooding into my head, all of Nate and I in various lives that we've shared together. But everything stopped at one particular moment, with me tied to a pyer with a horde of angry and judgemental villagers surrounding me. The night air was cold and bitter, wrapping around me just like the feeling of dread I was experiencing. Nate was there, standing amongst the crowd with Jack standing slightly behind him. He was crying, wailing and pulling at Jack's hands that held him in a death grip. I could hear the voices around me, accusing me of witchcraft and begging the priest to purify me with fire. I didn't underdstand any of this. All I knew was that I was in danger and I couldn't move. 

"Nate, don't watch! Please look away!" I begged, beginning to struggle harder as the priest picked up a torch and approached me.   
"What the fuck is wrong with you people?! Leave us alone! Please, don't do this!" I cried out, the heat pricking my exposed skin as the pyre was lit underneath me. The heat blistered my skin as the flames crawled closer to my legs. I screamed, trying desperately to escape from the pain. And just as the fire licked at my bare feet, my eyes locked with Nate's, and the flames consumed me.


End file.
